Back to Square One

To say I’m upset is an understatement.

I thought everything was going okay, I thought everything was fine. I log onto Facebook and noticed Ross had re-accepted my friend request. I went to look on his profile and noticed that this girl who had posted on his page before had tagged him in some more posts, specifically watching a movie together. Curious I clicked on her page. I went to her about page and noticed under relationships… “Been in a relationship with Ross ****** since September 9th, 2020.” My jaw dropped. To say I was stunned is an understatement. Considering that he and I had slept together on the 12th through the 13th.

I felt my body shaking with rage. How could he. How could that bastard?! It was bad enough that he had been seeing someone else after we slept together. It was bad enough that he had been stringing me along till the 20th till I had finally gotten to talk to him on the phone. He never ended it. He never said, I found someone else. Instead he just ghosted me. I just assumed it was over when the last text I had from him was the following night saying “what game?” when in a text message about a game preview I was excited about. He never had the decency to end things with me ever. All he ever did was just leave me there guessing. I assumed there was someone else but I never had any confirmation. So when I asked him last night on the 28th, was there someone else? He said no.

So of course I’m literally sitting there shaking, trying not to scream as I process all of this information. Then I rage text him. I called him a liar and every name under the book. I tried to reach out to the girl he was seeing, to let her know about us. But I guess she already did. She was given the privilege of information about us. That must have been nice.

Ross’s excuse he tells himself is that he didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t know, he didn’t know, he didn’t know. But he did know about her. He had the courage to say he wanted to make things official with her. In a nut shell, by just ghosting me he was trying to keep me as a side piece for if things ever didn’t work out with her. Well let me tell you, I made sure to burn that bridge in a blaze of glory. I am nobodies side piece.

If anything, I feel bad for Abi, the girl he decided to cheat on me with. Because she’s obviously choosing to believe this lie. What stake do I have in this to lie about my involvement? I wouldn’t take back the cheating scum even if he groveled. But some women are just like that I guess. There are many things I will put up with in a relationship but liars aren’t one of them. Because how can you ever trust them again? Honestly my bet? They’ll be married and divorced within 5 years as he is a 35 year old man whose never been in a relationship longer than a year. Myself on the other hand have been in two long term relationships. My first was my high school sweetheart for 7 years and then my current ex was 10 years. You could say I know a little bit more about relationships and how to keep them than he does. But what do I know right? And the reasons for both of my relationships ending was because I ended them. He can’t exactly say the same. And there’s a reason for that.

To put in perspective, let me just reiterate the lies he’s trying to spin of the supposed conversation.
1.) When I asked him if he was seeing someone last night on the 9/28.
“I thought you meant when we were together”
WTF asdfla;sdfjsalkdfj dude! You never broke up with me! You ghosted me and I just had to assume we were broken up. You knew exactly what I meant. Lie number 1.
2.) & 3.)
“Well I told you I didn’t know what I wanted.” “I told you I didn’t want a relationship.”
Enter meme of Will Smith as he was still in a relationship the entire time still with Abi. Like seriously? The answer was you wanted someone else. But you didn’t have the courage to tell me.

Anyway… the anger aside of course will come the depression. Depression because I’m feeling back to square one. I don’t mind being alone, I don’t need to be in a relationship and I’m not rejoining the dating scene for awhile. I already know getting out of bed is already going to be harder. I want to curl up under the blankets as we speak and cry my eyes out. Because I’m sad and angry all in one. All I know is that I need time to myself. I can try to distract myself with my usual interests, silly YouTube videos, Discord, video games, etc but it’s all a facade. Breakups are hard enough on their own let alone made harder when you realize how deeply you were lied to about it. I wish Ross could admit it to himself but I know he won’t. I wish he could see exactly what he did instead of trying to paint this perfect world he seems to think himself in. He’s painted himself a world where he is honest and good when he is the exact opposite. He is nothing but a liar and a cheater.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s