Back To Your Regular Scheduled Programing…
I don’t really have anything else to add about the Ross and Abi situation. It’s clear that they are meant for each other, two codependent people on a foundation of toxic lies that will end in nothing but a very unhappy ending. I do hope sooner rather than later for Abi’s sake but I’m sure Ross will have moved onto five other girls by then.
I honestly feel really good. I thought I would feel a lot sadder but at the moment I don’t. I feel ready to stop wallowing and continue on with my life. I am only going to take this moment by moment and then day by day. If I still feel like I need to wallow, I’ll do it. Depression has been a long time monster I’ve fought against single handedly alone my whole life. My Dark Link so to speak. I know her every move and she knows mine and as we battle and we match blow for blow as I try to strike her down.
When I was with Ross, it felt like this white paladin knight who wasn’t directly helping me but gave me more courage to fight and try to slay the beast. While I hadn’t learned how to unlock the megaton hammer and defeat my own Dark Link, I had learned how to land some critical hits with Dins fire. With Ross out of the picture it may just be myself back alone with my monsters by myself but that doesn’t mean by any means I need someone in order to slay my own beasts. I don’t need to be saved.
I don’t have the answers to anything or where my life is going to go. I want to achieve all my dreams and unlock myself from this nightmare but I don’t know how to let myself out. I feel like Henantier, lost in a nightmare or Mawata Awayuki trapped in her own loneliness.
In the mean time, I know they are just distractions, but I want to go back to writing my Sims stories and working on the projects I have. I have a quite a few chapters worth of photos of my Homemaker Challenge that I need to get done and a lot of mods to organize on my Discord let alone other projects. But like I said in the beginning of this entry, I am just going to take this day by day, moment by moment. My life wasn’t exactly interesting before I met Ross and I was always a procrastinator before it too. I’m just going back to that, doing nothing of any importance.