Monthly Archives: June 2021

Blindness// Reposting Old Poetry

Originally written on April 8th, 2014. It was meant to be a rough draft but I honestly think it’s just fine on it’s own as it is. I’ve come a very long way mentally since I’ve written this. I think we all struggle with our body and I’m not going to lie and say I don’t have bad days but my mindset has changed a lot since 2014 on my body.

Blindness

When will they finally see?
When will they understand?
Will they ever love the ugly,
That is apart of who I am.

Will I ever be enough?
Will I ever love myself?
Unconditionally, unquestionably, on my own,
Without any of your help.

When will I be the person
I dream myself to be?
The person that I know I am,
The person that I see.

I could tell you that it doesn’t really matter,
And that in part is sort of true.
But if you would ask my heart,
It would tell you that I do.

Happy Tune// Reposting Old Poetry

I was thinking about resharing some of my old blog entries from other websites (that are now privatized to the public) and I stumbled upon this. I wrote this in April 17th, 2014. Not only can’t I even remember who it was about nor did I write any notes on the blog but I have absolutely no memory of writing it.

Happy TuneLyrics by this Sarah Smiles

It always starts out with a happy little tune,
It hums on my lips as I sit in my room.
Then those words appear and makes me think of you,
and suddenly my world turns to gloom.

Chorus:
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
Without always reminding me of you,
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
that doesn’t turn me blue? (blue, blue, blue)

I make myself change the words
So they sound happy instead
Still I’m reminded of better times
And moments I no longer have.

Chorus:
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
Without always reminding me of you,
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
that doesn’t turn me blue? (blue, blue, blue)

It’s better if you don’t understand the words
But you shouldn’t worry about what they say,
Just listen to this melody, la, la, la,
And let it melt all your worries away.

*musical pause*

Chorus:
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
Without always reminding me of you,
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
that doesn’t turn me blue? (blue, blue, blue)

New Sims Blog

Hey, I just wanted to write a quick update on here for everyone who searches through my Sims 2 content from mods, challenges, etc.

I purchased a new website called All Things Sims 2 back in May. The premise is exactly what the title says, everything that has to do with Sims 2. Right now my main goal is to transfer not only all the mods from this website over to there but, to get to 5,000 mods. It’s a big project for sure.

As for this blog… I don’t really know what I want to do with this website. It won’t be completely dead, I do want to continue writing and I do want to someday get back into creating videos and will use this blog for both. I can’t say when any of that will happen. It could be next week but it could also very well be six months from now. I also have been explicitly not dating for months now. I tried putting myself back out there in April and I ended up having an extremely bad experience where I naively put myself into a very dangerous situation. I was very lucky to get out safely and not hurt. Instead I’ve just been working on myself and taking time for me. I’ve been focusing on both my mental and physical health. For example, I lost nearly 10lbs in June and hope to lose at least another 5 for July by simply giving up soda and nearly eliminating sugar from my diet. I also journal almost every single day. I started a new job last week and am pretty excited for that. I still work for the same company, I just transferred positions into a completely new field of work for me within that company. The next couple of months for July & August should be very good financially because of this and I hope to make a lot of positive changes in my life going forward.

Anyway, that’s really all I wanted to say for today’s entry. Feel free to check out the new Sims blog and give that a follow!

Until next time

Sarah Smiles