Monthly Archives: August 2021

Friends With Benefits

A couple days before I had posted my Dear Lee Burbage: Part 1 blog post, I had gotten a request on my Dangerously Stupid post to please post a current update status of my love life. Now because of how heavily my blog gets bogged down with spam, all my comments are on manually approved and because the way this request was worded, I wasn’t really sure if it was genuine or just slyly accredited enough to slip through the automatic spam filter, which does happen from time to time. Even still I wasn’t sure if I wanted to answer it.

The past is a lot easier to examine and to be like Captain Hindsight than actually knowing what the hell I’m doing at any given moment in the present. I’ve only ever learned how to learn fix my mistakes after I’ve made them let alone as I was making them. I usually need distance in order to get clarity and have those “oooh” moments instead of I guess say, Captain Preventative. But as I have been doing a lot of research on the definition of friends with benefits and trying to understand exactly how the nature of the relationship I had with Lee was just so different than the current actual friends with benefits I have now and I think it’s important to talk about the differences. I think it’s important to talk about these differences not just for me but for anyone else who is also struggling or has struggled with a friends with benefits arrangement. It’s important to know what lines are being crossed and what’s a red flag or not.

Normally, it is extremely important to establish first with your current sexual partner clear outlines and boundaries on what is expected from the other but sometimes you just don’t even know what you are needing to ask for to be even able to talk to your friend. I certainly didn’t. And I still wouldn’t know either if any of what happened between Lee and I in what’s coming up in Part 2 hadn’t actually happened. Lee made me feel like everything was my fault except for him ghosting me. Like I caught the flu and he was afraid to catch it while denying he was showing signs of having symptoms himself. I don’t think he even understood how exactly he also violated what he thought was just friends with benefits was actually more akin to casual dating. After doing slightly more digging, I found on the same website of Brides.com an article called When To Move From Casual Dating to a Relationship that helped me understand this. To a lesser degree this article also helped me understand the nature I had with Fishsticks as well except not quite in the same way because Fishsticks and I always agreed on what we were doing was dating.

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Dear Lee Burbage Part One

If any of you on the internet have been following my blog for any amount of time, you probably have learned three things about me.

  1. I like the Sims
  2. I like to write poetry
  3. I like to write Ted Talk novel length blog posts about my life.

That being said about number three, I go very long periods to where I actually talk about my life or what I’m going through. This is mostly because when I am writing these blogs, I am literally taking a piece of my soul and putting it out for the world to see. It’s very emotionally draining and takes a very heavy toll each and every time I write. On that same note, writing is also very cathartic and I am told not unlike giving birth. (Has no first hand experience to giving birth) You are literally creating life. Words have meaning and have impact on each and every person who reads them. Some will completely resonate with what my writing while many others will simply roll their eyes and move on. It’s all up to the individual and the context of what’s personally going on in their life in how they will perceive in what I have to say.

For instance, there are people who will believe that the trauma I went through in April wasn’t trauma at all. At the end of their day that is their opinion and right to think so. I know what it was for me and I told my story.

This is another story of what happened to me that I’m about to tell. So buckle in folks we’re here for a bumpy ride.

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Dangerously Stupid

I’d like to meet the person whose never done anything stupid before. No really, I would. Everyone has done to a certain degree something so stupid that they look back and groan, “Why did I do that?!”

Some are pretty easy such as mooning over a crush and acting like an idiot in front of them. Then there are always fashion choices, someone still needs to travel back to 2011 and slap some sense into why I thought headbands on a mid twenty something woman looked good… I still blame Gossip Girl. The other kind of stupid decisions are the dangerous ones… and boy have I made plenty of those.

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