Innocence

I look at the world, and I want to see good.
I look at the world, and I want to believe.
I wake up each day hoping
That I can be my best self.

I don’t say this blindly or foolishly,
As some would think of me
Too naive.
I say this knowing

That today I might fail.
That there is darkness inside of all of us.
That there are thoughts and deeds
That feel too wicked for redemption.

But I do believe… and I don’t know why.
Only that I do.
That there is hope for me
That there is hope for you too

Here I Go Again On My Own…

“And here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time
But here I go again, here I go again”

First off, I apologize to anyone I got Whitesnake stuck in your head. It’s been in my own head for the entire afternoon so, misery loves company.

You might have thought, Ah! if you read my last entry, a poem called: I Love. That maybe I found a relationship, or at the very least am that I’m currently happy, especially for those who read the dating saga months of September and October of 2020. After that, it was like I disappeared from writing all together after my November 1st entry. Not necessarily the internet, oh no I was definitely still online and even dating online, I just was struggling internally to write about it. The thing was, I definitely did want to write about it, I wanted to write about all of it. I even got a very nice comment from one Stuart Danker that he was looking forward to future dating posts on a very well intentioned “Coming Back Soon” entry that I posted literally on my birthday. It’s just every time I found myself trying to come back to the keyboard, I found myself not being able to.

Read more

I Love

I love the way you hold my hand
Our fingers intertwined,
Lightly caressing the other
In a playful dance

I love the way you look at me
It catches my breath every time.
You always look like your about to kiss me
And your smile always give away how you feel.

I love the way you laugh.
With your whole belly and all of your soul.
I love the sound of your voice,
It lifts me up from the saddest place

I love your words,
That tumble out of your mouth.
They calm my anxious heart
And make me want to share my darkest secrets

But most of all, it’s just you.
All of you, Every single part.
Even the parts I can’t explain.
Even the parts I don’t know.

You haven’t said these words to me,
Nor I to you, not quite yet.
It’s too soon
And not soon enough.

But when I think of you,
Which is quite a lot,
I can’t help but think of all the ways I already love you
And how one day you’ll say these words to me

Brandi’s Dream Episode 1: Pleasantview Machinima + CC Haul Feat BBKZ

Hey guys,

So I know I said I would be back back at the end of November and I had/have every intention of coming back but the truth is, writing makes me nervous. It’s always been very emotionally draining and I’ve been battling two sides of the same coin. I want to write, I feel good when I write but at the same time mentally putting aside time to do so gives me anxiety. So it’s just one of those things that needs to happen naturally, I will come back to writing and more when I’m ready.

The Celebrity Sim Challenge is also going to happen eventually as well but in the mean time I finally had the inspiration to finish a project that I started roughly around Jan of 2020, or this time last year. I couldn’t figure out how I wanted to film the video for a very long time.

In the beginning everyone was just going to be walking down a runway but I figured out quickly that was going to be very repetitive and monotonous with +300 outfits to go through from BBKZ specifically. I couldn’t figure out how I wanted to not only show the outfits so you could view the CC from different angles but be efficient with my time. At one point 12 outfits took up almost 5 minutes and that wasn’t going to do, so I shelved the project for awhile up until a couple weeks ago where I was randomly playing with camera angles in tab mode. I still very much want to learn more about camera angles so if anyone has any good resources or doesn’t mind talking to me about it I’d very much appreciate it! But because of playing with different camera angles, I was loosely able to put this first video together.

This particular series will be in 6 parts because again, 300 outfits is a lot, and I felt 50 at a time allows me to tell a story and show a decent amount of cc at the same time.

My plan for the moment is to showcase as much available maternity cc there is (it’s a lot more than I realized) from Alpha, MM, Male & Teenage Maternity. I chose Pleasantview because it’s familiar to a lot of us Sims Players for nostalgic reasons and it makes for a good story to go along side a CC Haul. Anyway, enough rambling, here is the series:

Brandi’s Dream: Episode 1

New Sims Challenge: Celebrity Asylum Coming Soon!

I was talking to my friend LadyA on my Sims 2 CC Discord server during the Thanksgiving holiday in voice chat and she shared some funny links with me from Garden of Shadows, Good Genes Challenge. The concept is simple, take really hideously deformed Sims and see how how few generations you can breed out the ugly. The link she shared had some real dooseys.

That being said, it got me thinking of the challenges I’d play back in the mid 2000’s. Before the Good Genes Challenge, there was a challenge called the Uglacy. Or in other terms, the Bad Genes Challenge. The idea was based on the original Sims 2 Legacy Challenge written by Pinstar where the main goal was to make it through 10 generations with one family tree. There were countless spin offs with this, the ABC legacy, Matriach Legacy, and obviously the Uglacy Challenge.

The Uglacy Challenge was something that always made me laugh. There was one writer in particular that I could not get enough of and I believe she actually completed the challenge but remembering her username I could not for the life of me begin to recall. I only remember that by the end of generation 10, it had gotten pretty mutated, that the first generation Sim married in was Sandy Bruty and she had nick named Sandy Fish Lips, a term I’ve forever used since. Then she started of course the Prettacy challenge or what’s now known as the Good Genes Challenge.

I didn’t follow that one quite as closely as I do believe the family’s genetics got solved pretty quickly but LadyA’s mention sparked off an idea in my head. What if we turned an entire town into hideous Sims and brought in really pretty Sims, no celebrities! (the most known for being pretty, right?) and mixed their DNA in with the gene pool. I spent an entire day searching the web for already created celebrities for the Sims 2. It wasn’t too hard to find oddly enough, and by the end of the day it was shy shy of 60 celebrities. There would have been closer to a 100 if not a lot of the links resulted into broken CC but I digress.

Now that I had these gorgeous celebrities, now what? I added a handful of so really crazy looking Sims but after getting so invested in creating all these now townie Sims, I wanted to play with them first, but how? That’s when my previous series of the Asylum came up. I was going to chose 8 random celebrities and lock them up and the first one to achieve their life time want, was going to get their freedom, or enslavement into another challenge but lets not focus on that at the moment.

I’ve been busy working all weekend and part of the week already on this and I’m excited that it should be ready soon. I can’t say for sure when but you can check the top of the Sims page on my site here to learn more. I’ll post more as I know/go and I’ll be updating the YouTube page. I’m not fully returned to YouTube or anything like that, this is just something fun for me that I am enjoying. I hope you will love it too and here’s a little sneak peak of a Thumbnail for the first episode.

Sincerely,

SarahSmiles

Just My Friend

Every time I see your face,
I want to pull your body close to mine
And melt into your arms
Which are built so strong
I imagine them holding me tight that
any form of self doubt slips away.
Every time I see your face
I want to kiss your lips, soft and warm
and feel them part with mine
as our tongues meet and dance
upon breathes as if they were our last.
Every time I see your face,
even the ones only in my memory,
I can’t help but smile, sometimes in happiness
but always with a little bit of sorrow
Because every time I see your face
I keep these thoughts to myself
Because you are just my friend

Coming Back Soon

Hey guys,

I am sorry I haven’t been around much at all for the month of November.

I have some Sims 2 stuff coming soon, a new neighborhood and a couple of challenges. That being said, don’t worry, the Homemaker Challenge isn’t going anywhere.

I have a couple articles I want to write on dating, one specifically dedicated to everything I’ve learned so far.

I don’t know when any of this will be out but I am going to put some more time into this blog coming up for the month of December so thank you for those who read it!

I hope everyone in the States had a Happy Thanksgiving yesterday. I am very thankful for the readers that I have and many other things in my life. Today is another year officially where I’ve made it successfully around the sun aka it’s my birthday and I am officially 34 today! Anyway thank you so much and I have a poem coming up soon that I wrote

Sincerely,

Sarah Smiles

Second Place

Second,
Never first,
Always coming up short,
From every time,
Everything,
Everyone,
You.

I will never be first
I will never be someone’s choice
Someone’s favorite
I’m always coming up just short
Just shy of expectations
I will never know how to win
In a game I don’t even want to play

Managing Your Expectations

“Manage your expectations,” my subconscious ominously says to me.

“What?” I reply

“Manage your expectations,” it says again.

“What does that even mean?”

“I dunno,” it shrugs nonchalantly as if it could care either way. “I just deliver the messages.”

“Thanks….” I reply, annoyed. My subconscious, third eye, intuition, whatever you want to call it, can be a real vague bitch sometimes. “I don’t even know what to do with that information,” I say in frustration.

//Warning// This Blog Post Contains Strong Sexual Language and Talks of Sensitive Subjects Such as Suicide Others Might Find Triggering.

Read more
« Older Entries