Category Archives: Blogging

Closure

I like how sometimes you get the closure you didn’t even know you needed in unexpected ways. Yesterday the Cuban messaged me out of no where. The last I wrote about him was on the 7th of October but that was before we had mutually ended it. We had decided we weren’t a good fit together a few days later on the 12th. We were just two different types of people and while I was willing to try and work out some kind of compromise, I didn’t feel like the Cuban ever wanted to meet me half way. But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

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A Little Insecure

It’s weird to know that its been a week since I finally finished burning the bridges with Ross and letting the ash settle. In theory a week is not a very long time but like Einstein once said, time is relative.

“A second in one reference frame may be longer compared to a second in another reference frame.”

And that couldn’t be more true. At the very end of my last blog post, I talked about how I had been able to let go of all my anger by forgiving myself. That despite the actions I took while angry, that doesn’t define who I am and remembering that I myself, am enough. That same night, I logged back onto Tinder. I wasn’t looking to date but just looking for… something. I don’t know what. Not validation but I did find that. I was reminded of the facts that I already knew, that I am pretty, funny, sweet, smart and caring. That I have enough love in my heart for a thousand life times. I knew I was finally able to let go and move on from Ross. And because of that, there was this odd sort of peace that had settled upon my heart. Like fresh snow on top of a bloody battlefield.

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The Monster Inside Us All

There is a little tiny monster inside of all of us. It sleeps like a dragon on a pile of gold, slumbering. For most of us, it is not easily disturbed and very rarely awakens. At least mine rarely is. When it is awakened, it roars not from being disturbed by sleep. It’s furious that it’s gold is in jeopardy of being stolen. You, yourself fully are the gold. Each of us are the treasure that needs to be protected. For some people the monster will attack itself confused by where the danger is coming from. Some it directly goes in for the kill.

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Back to Square One

To say I’m upset is an understatement.

I thought everything was going okay, I thought everything was fine. I log onto Facebook and noticed Ross had re-accepted my friend request. I went to look on his profile and noticed that this girl who had posted on his page before had tagged him in some more posts, specifically watching a movie together. Curious I clicked on her page. I went to her about page and noticed under relationships… “Been in a relationship with Ross ****** since September 9th, 2020.” My jaw dropped. To say I was stunned is an understatement. Considering that he and I had slept together on the 12th through the 13th.

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Better

Today was a good day.
Maybe not the best day
But better than the one before.
Perhaps I’ll like tomorrow a little more

I’m writing this just to let people know that I’ve been doing alright. I’ve been keeping myself really busy at work, mostly trying to prove myself at my job and busting my a** so by the time I get home I can barely keep my eyes open for very long. Periodically I will get these random spurts of alertness where I have the motivation to do absolutely nothing productive than play a little bit of Neopets, talk a little bit on Discord/Facebook and watch a YouTube video here and there. Basically just to disassociate and not focus on my feelings. There was this brief period of motivation as the DoorDash driver handed me a bag of McDonald’s that oh yeah, I should probably work on going after my goals.

That might not sound like I’m doing better but trust me… for me, it is.

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Thank You

Breaking up with someone f*cking sucks. I’m sorry for the swearing but I think in this case, it’s very much appropriate and I think it’s something you’ll forgive me for. I do try not to swear too often, not to offend people but it takes away the ompfh that comes with a really good swear word. On that same hand, some days I’ll drop the F bomb on every other word. I am very often a walking contradiction. That being said, losing someone sucks wither it be a lover, a friend, a family member or literally anything else. Grief is universal and can’t be avoided. Grief effects all of us uniquely as some of us deal with it head on and sometimes we hide from it and try to suppress it like it doesn’t exist. Personally, I’ve done both.

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Blog update

Hey guys,

I just wanted to share an update of some plans I have for my website/blog here.

1.) I’m super happy that people have been enjoying my Homemaker Challenge! I have more chapters coming on the way, like two or three so far depending on how after sorting out the photos go.

But I am also going to create character profiles on each Sim that comes into the challenge and how they develop as they age up. I’m doing this so you the audience can get to know and become more familiarized with the Sims themselves. I want you to see what I see behind the scenes as far as their interests and personalities. You’ll be able to find these in the Homemaker Challenge page and I will post an announcement here when they are completed.

2.) I want/need to update the Sims 2 Mods page. Not only is it so outdated from last year (I think, I don’t remember the last time I updated but I think it was November 2019) but so many new mods have been developed since my last update. A lot of links to mods have been removed. The entire site of Simbology has been taken down and while links on the website have been saved to SFS, the links need to be updated themselves.

3.) I don’t know when but I’d also like to continue and expand my Lets Play Recap episode series on other Simmers.

There is of course a lot of other areas on this site I need to redo like the CC area but those are my main 3 focus goals till the end of the year. I love and appreciate anyone who subscribes to this blog or just checks it out period. Also thank you so much for all the recent comments, it makes my day to interact with you. That’s all that I have for now, just a quick update. Love until later,

Sincerely,

Sarah Smiles

5,000 Blog Hits!

Oh my~! I reached this milestone a couple weeks ago but I just want to say thank you so much for the views and interest in this blog. I know that 5,000 isn’t a lot in the grand scale of things but it is a lot to me as well as reaching 13 followers of this blog! Thank you so much for your interest!

I just finished Season 1 of New Arlestown on my channel and I’m so excited. I have a few other projects in the works of course (don’t I always). I’ll be starting the Asylum Challenge and will be recording my first few episodes today. I’ll probably only be posting a couple times a week and I’m going to go ahead and get everything loaded on the channel with preset times so there isn’t any guessing when you can expect the next episode. This will give me plenty of free time to do a bunch of other things like bring back Vlogs and more videos that are non-interactive of video games. I have one Vlog I’ll be filming today and then two others fun little side videos that I’ll figure out when I’d like to post them. One is me rating every song that is about my name Sarah. As you can probably tell, I’ve heard people reference my name to songs my entire life and I think that would be fun to share with you. I also used to write poetry. Some of it is decent but a lot of is really bad and I think it would be funny to read aloud some of my bad teenage poetry just for laughs. I don’t know how interested other people would be in seeing these types of videos but I think I’ll just make them and see how well they are received.

In the process of this I’ll be preparing two Valentines day related videos with the Sims. My first one will be explaining a detailed explanation of how Chemistry works thanks to the Sims Wiki page but also a lot to Cyjon too. I spent a couple days studying what they wrote and am really interested and I think other people would enjoy it too. (I could be wrong about this of course) And the second video will be a mod review of Romantic Standards by Simler90 on MTS, if it’s worth it to ACR and imo which is better. Romantic Standards is very detailed and tricky to learn so this is taking me some time.

I also want to update every episode of New Arlestown recaps and get all the personal bio’s done by the end of January. In between all of this time I’ll be trying to make renovations and updates to New Arlestown too. I will be posting those updates on my Simstagram, sarahsmiles.32. I’ve posted a few already but there will be definitely more.

Anyway guys as you can see I’ll be very busy. You can always come check out my Sims 2 Custom Content Discord which just reached 50 members a few days ago and share links. I’ll always be sharing links on there and adding more mods to this blog. I am almost done adding all of Simlogical’s mods and actually need to update the number of mods on this page because it’s getting closer to 2,200 instead of the 2,030 it says. (I usually just update the total count after I’ve finished adding mods form a particular site)

That’s all I have for you guys today. Thank you again so much for being here and helping me get freaking 5,000 blog hits! Here’s to 5,000 more!

Sincerely,

Sarah Smiles

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