Category Archives: Poetry

Envy

You hate me because
You think I’m beautiful
And you want the things
You think I have

You love it when
I share unflattering photos
So you can pick me apart
To make yourself feel better.

But I just want you to know,
I don’t hate you.
You are you
And I am me.

Even though you don’t see it,
Even though you can’t feel it,
At least you struggle to.
You are perfect just as you are.

So please don’t envy me.
Or want the things you wish you had.
Love the you
That’s already you

Read more

Blindness// Reposting Old Poetry

Originally written on April 8th, 2014. It was meant to be a rough draft but I honestly think it’s just fine on it’s own as it is. I’ve come a very long way mentally since I’ve written this. I think we all struggle with our body and I’m not going to lie and say I don’t have bad days but my mindset has changed a lot since 2014 on my body.

Blindness

When will they finally see?
When will they understand?
Will they ever love the ugly,
That is apart of who I am.

Will I ever be enough?
Will I ever love myself?
Unconditionally, unquestionably, on my own,
Without any of your help.

When will I be the person
I dream myself to be?
The person that I know I am,
The person that I see.

I could tell you that it doesn’t really matter,
And that in part is sort of true.
But if you would ask my heart,
It would tell you that I do.

Happy Tune// Reposting Old Poetry

I was thinking about resharing some of my old blog entries from other websites (that are now privatized to the public) and I stumbled upon this. I wrote this in April 17th, 2014. Not only can’t I even remember who it was about nor did I write any notes on the blog but I have absolutely no memory of writing it.

Happy TuneLyrics by this Sarah Smiles

It always starts out with a happy little tune,
It hums on my lips as I sit in my room.
Then those words appear and makes me think of you,
and suddenly my world turns to gloom.

Chorus:
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
Without always reminding me of you,
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
that doesn’t turn me blue? (blue, blue, blue)

I make myself change the words
So they sound happy instead
Still I’m reminded of better times
And moments I no longer have.

Chorus:
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
Without always reminding me of you,
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
that doesn’t turn me blue? (blue, blue, blue)

It’s better if you don’t understand the words
But you shouldn’t worry about what they say,
Just listen to this melody, la, la, la,
And let it melt all your worries away.

*musical pause*

Chorus:
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
Without always reminding me of you,
Is there a way to sing a happy tune,
that doesn’t turn me blue? (blue, blue, blue)

Unfinished Poem/Working Title- It Could Have Been You

Just something I’ve been in the process of working on. It feels more like song lyrics. I’ve been listening to this French rap song called Plus Jamais by Aya Nakamura a lot the last couple of months. I keep telling myself that I will write an update on here and I do mean it. Eventually. I don’t know when… when I’m ready I guess. Still heartbroken from my last journal entry.

Unfinished Poem & Working Title: It Could Have been You

It could have been you,
Who held me close.
It could have been you,
Who kissed me goodnight.
It could have been you
Making love every night

Instead you chose to walk away,
And leave it all behind
Instead you chose to walk away
But I promise I’ll be okay

It could have been you,
To keep my tears at bay,
It could have been you,
To chase my fears away
It could have been you
To be the reason that I smile
It could have been you
If you had only stayed awhile

Innocence

I look at the world, and I want to see good.
I look at the world, and I want to believe.
I wake up each day hoping
That I can be my best self.

I don’t say this blindly or foolishly,
As some would think of me
Too naive.
I say this knowing

That today I might fail.
That there is darkness inside of all of us.
That there are thoughts and deeds
That feel too wicked for redemption.

But I do believe… and I don’t know why.
Only that I do.
That there is hope for me
That there is hope for you too

I Love

I love the way you hold my hand
Our fingers intertwined,
Lightly caressing the other
In a playful dance

I love the way you look at me
It catches my breath every time.
You always look like your about to kiss me
And your smile always give away how you feel.

I love the way you laugh.
With your whole belly and all of your soul.
I love the sound of your voice,
It lifts me up from the saddest place

I love your words,
That tumble out of your mouth.
They calm my anxious heart
And make me want to share my darkest secrets

But most of all, it’s just you.
All of you, Every single part.
Even the parts I can’t explain.
Even the parts I don’t know.

You haven’t said these words to me,
Nor I to you, not quite yet.
It’s too soon
And not soon enough.

But when I think of you,
Which is quite a lot,
I can’t help but think of all the ways I already love you
And how one day you’ll say these words to me

Just My Friend

Every time I see your face,
I want to pull your body close to mine
And melt into your arms
Which are built so strong
I imagine them holding me tight that
any form of self doubt slips away.
Every time I see your face
I want to kiss your lips, soft and warm
and feel them part with mine
as our tongues meet and dance
upon breathes as if they were our last.
Every time I see your face,
even the ones only in my memory,
I can’t help but smile, sometimes in happiness
but always with a little bit of sorrow
Because every time I see your face
I keep these thoughts to myself
Because you are just my friend

Second Place

Second,
Never first,
Always coming up short,
From every time,
Everything,
Everyone,
You.

I will never be first
I will never be someone’s choice
Someone’s favorite
I’m always coming up just short
Just shy of expectations
I will never know how to win
In a game I don’t even want to play

More Ramblings of a Heartbroken Woman

I can write all day about you
But it won’t bring you back
I can dream all night about you
But I won’t wake up next to your face
My body can tremble
But it won’t be because of your lips
I can whisper your name
But you won’t be able to hear it

There were so many could have beens for us
So many firsts I wanted only to share with you
I wanted to make a mess in the kitchen
Just so we ended up ordering take out
And keep singing silly songs in the middle of our conversations
We could have traveled the world together or just stayed inside
But could have beens will only ever be could have beens
And never be for us

I Still Wish

I Still Wish

I still think you’ll call me
I still look at my phone and hope for your name
I still miss hearing your voice
I still want everything to go back to being the same

I still love like a fool
A fool without shame
I’m still just a pawn
Caught up in your game

Call out my name
Tell me your wrong
Tell me you think we should
Have been together all along

I know it won’t happen
But I’ll still wish all the same
I wish because I still miss you
Whose heart still full of pain

« Older Entries