Category Archives: Writing

Innocence

I look at the world, and I want to see good.
I look at the world, and I want to believe.
I wake up each day hoping
That I can be my best self.

I don’t say this blindly or foolishly,
As some would think of me
Too naive.
I say this knowing

That today I might fail.
That there is darkness inside of all of us.
That there are thoughts and deeds
That feel too wicked for redemption.

But I do believe… and I don’t know why.
Only that I do.
That there is hope for me
That there is hope for you too

Here I Go Again On My Own…

“And here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time
But here I go again, here I go again”

First off, I apologize to anyone I got Whitesnake stuck in your head. It’s been in my own head for the entire afternoon so, misery loves company.

You might have thought, Ah! if you read my last entry, a poem called: I Love. That maybe I found a relationship, or at the very least am that I’m currently happy, especially for those who read the dating saga months of September and October of 2020. After that, it was like I disappeared from writing all together after my November 1st entry. Not necessarily the internet, oh no I was definitely still online and even dating online, I just was struggling internally to write about it. The thing was, I definitely did want to write about it, I wanted to write about all of it. I even got a very nice comment from one Stuart Danker that he was looking forward to future dating posts on a very well intentioned “Coming Back Soon” entry that I posted literally on my birthday. It’s just every time I found myself trying to come back to the keyboard, I found myself not being able to.

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I Love

I love the way you hold my hand
Our fingers intertwined,
Lightly caressing the other
In a playful dance

I love the way you look at me
It catches my breath every time.
You always look like your about to kiss me
And your smile always give away how you feel.

I love the way you laugh.
With your whole belly and all of your soul.
I love the sound of your voice,
It lifts me up from the saddest place

I love your words,
That tumble out of your mouth.
They calm my anxious heart
And make me want to share my darkest secrets

But most of all, it’s just you.
All of you, Every single part.
Even the parts I can’t explain.
Even the parts I don’t know.

You haven’t said these words to me,
Nor I to you, not quite yet.
It’s too soon
And not soon enough.

But when I think of you,
Which is quite a lot,
I can’t help but think of all the ways I already love you
And how one day you’ll say these words to me

Just My Friend

Every time I see your face,
I want to pull your body close to mine
And melt into your arms
Which are built so strong
I imagine them holding me tight that
any form of self doubt slips away.
Every time I see your face
I want to kiss your lips, soft and warm
and feel them part with mine
as our tongues meet and dance
upon breathes as if they were our last.
Every time I see your face,
even the ones only in my memory,
I can’t help but smile, sometimes in happiness
but always with a little bit of sorrow
Because every time I see your face
I keep these thoughts to myself
Because you are just my friend

Coming Back Soon

Hey guys,

I am sorry I haven’t been around much at all for the month of November.

I have some Sims 2 stuff coming soon, a new neighborhood and a couple of challenges. That being said, don’t worry, the Homemaker Challenge isn’t going anywhere.

I have a couple articles I want to write on dating, one specifically dedicated to everything I’ve learned so far.

I don’t know when any of this will be out but I am going to put some more time into this blog coming up for the month of December so thank you for those who read it!

I hope everyone in the States had a Happy Thanksgiving yesterday. I am very thankful for the readers that I have and many other things in my life. Today is another year officially where I’ve made it successfully around the sun aka it’s my birthday and I am officially 34 today! Anyway thank you so much and I have a poem coming up soon that I wrote

Sincerely,

Sarah Smiles

Managing Your Expectations

“Manage your expectations,” my subconscious ominously says to me.

“What?” I reply

“Manage your expectations,” it says again.

“What does that even mean?”

“I dunno,” it shrugs nonchalantly as if it could care either way. “I just deliver the messages.”

“Thanks….” I reply, annoyed. My subconscious, third eye, intuition, whatever you want to call it, can be a real vague bitch sometimes. “I don’t even know what to do with that information,” I say in frustration.

//Warning// This Blog Post Contains Strong Sexual Language and Talks of Sensitive Subjects Such as Suicide Others Might Find Triggering.

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Closure

I like how sometimes you get the closure you didn’t even know you needed in unexpected ways. Yesterday the Cuban messaged me out of no where. The last I wrote about him was on the 7th of October but that was before we had mutually ended it. We had decided we weren’t a good fit together a few days later on the 12th. We were just two different types of people and while I was willing to try and work out some kind of compromise, I didn’t feel like the Cuban ever wanted to meet me half way. But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

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Teenagers: Chapter 11 of the Homemaker Challenge

We last left off the Homemaker challenge with a very dramatic episode of the twins getting into private school. It’s late Friday night and Minneapolis had rolled the want to do her brother Paul’s homework. She has the want to go fishing but also to talk about her hobby enthusiasm. I like the idea of her mother hearing noises coming from downstairs and going to find Minneapolis ecstatically chatting her ear off about science. Perhaps she’s asking Victoria if she’s aloud to go star gazing or perhaps excited to join in on a science club at her new school. Either way it’s very late and if she has the same want in the morning to go fishing, New York is going to take her to go fishing again.

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